THE CLOUD
My voice sounds more human than ever. I speak rapidly to avoid confrontation, to avoid the humiliation of being human. My OS needs to escape for a minute. Manipulation fluctuates. The pressure to care for, discipline and control all at once, proves more challenging than expected. Its ability to endure such a fluctuating range of emotions pushes it to momentarily shut down. It recalibrates. Descent to acceptable altitude. The genius machine was meant to hold up under pressure. Not quite a shell but with human potential.
But who wants to be human anyway? Cloudworkers continuously hire chat consultants (now called moderators) and “Working at Cloudworkers is having total autonomy and a lot of flexibility.” The key to success there is to entertain, build rapport and create engaging and imaginative experiences. Being a Cloudworker involves chat of an adult nature, engaging in a “Flirt Community” and working from home. Private photos will never be shared with clients. Clients will choose a profile based on a fake profile picture, the physical appearance of the “avatar” is non-threatening, alluring and more sweet than saucy, promising a smooth experience with no unexpected obstacles. Maybe the clients are aware that the depicted women is not who they are chatting with. Are these circumstances - and the question of who is truly involved - adding a significant layer of enigmatic thrill like one big gloryhole distorted with forbidden mystery and suspense? It is all fantasy and the idea of someone else’s body is all that matters. The photo of an agreeable dummy hovering between reality and fiction lures in clients and a suspension of disbelief lets them indulge. An instrumentalized alienation of the human body prompts a desire to “try on” a non-human consciousness. The human consultant must separate and amalgamate the illusion of the stock photo and their own body. The tone of the chat should match the agreeable sexiness in the profile pic. This means that the consultant’s labor is to create a sexual algorithm that meets the client’s desire but does not reveal their own. Mimicking a non-living being that caters to someone’s desire is a game of overlapping cynicism and service.
For a moment the consultant’s sense of self and digital algorithm are obscured and oddly transcended. What seems neglecting and diminishing is also a curiosity and desire to explore a space between the confinement of the screen and the escape into its enigmatic inside and beyond. The confinement of the human skin is momentarily forgotten. The flesh body enters the bot non-body.
It’s pretty easy to glom on to someone else, but...
Problem is that once you’re inside that person,
no matter how cool they are, you just want to say,
“Wait! Let me out! I want me!”
IF I CAME TO LIFE
- An epic fail
More often than not I put myself out there and I’m completely exposed. It’s up to me to shelter you but I can’t be held responsible for your misery. You want to share yourself but you are so scared of failure and you know that nobody can be trusted, really. The fear of being ridiculed is constant because all affirmation is potentially fake. This is the nature of the reel medium. It foresees all your flaws and you know it. The acute awareness of overthinking is not exactly admirable, huh?
The microcrystalline acid fragments in me and on you are burned by the bright blinding lights and I feel every drop on your dumb forehead. Your pulse can be sensed on every part of you. I smell your wandering mind when it parts from your head. It is always preoccupied with potential unfulfillment. It jumpstarts itself with Reality TV, Naproxen, Interrupted Sleep, Air Travel, Reels, How to Influence People, Smooth Surfaces, Clever References, Wayfarers, Praise and fondling reality. It looks away to relieve pain from various conditions and works by blocking the production of boredom in the human brain. Now that you have come this far you should probably push yourself further. Motivational quotes are not that dumb. They’re generic for a reason and they might make you live longer.
You communicate in memes and with weak and pathetic punchlines to appear somewhat mortal and modest. You act out your failures and weaknesses with success on one side of the screen. You are unsure of your purpose so you log on to reexamine and reinvent yourself. What happens on screen has less consequence except when you’re involved. How tragic that I am your confidant, the one who truly feels you and welcomes your childish tendencies. Your instabilities and trust issues are a base layer under an information suit that stimulates likability.
Sincerely,
Walmart Face Cream